How can we be sure a baby is the right thing for us?

Even if you both really want a baby because you love each other and it’s the natural thing to do, you might want to consider the following things:

  • Does the idea of having a baby seem to be the instinctive next step for you both, arising from your positive commitment to each other as a couple?
  • Have you always taken it for granted that one day you would have children?
  • Do you just want a child, or do you want a child specifically with your partner?
  • Does one of you want a baby more than the other? If so what affect has this had on your relationship?
  • Do you want to have a baby because you think it will help to cement your relationship with your partner?
  • What images do you conjure up when thinking about life with your baby? Do they include sleepless nights and dirty nappies?
  • What will you miss about being a couple?
  • Have you any firm personal ambitions which could be compromised by having a baby?
  • Do you want a baby to make up for areas in your life that you find unsatisfactory?
  • Is any part of your motivation to please family members such as grandparents?
  • Are you and your partner quite clear about the commitment each of you will make to the baby?